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met M. in the waiting room

so this happened

been seeing my therapist since january. dealing with parents dying and all that shit. sessions are wednesdays at 4pm

last wednesday (march 15) i show up early. girl’s sitting in waiting room. brunette, maybe 5'6", great body, yoga pants. mid-20s probably

she looks up from her phone. i look at her. she smiles

“you see Dr. R too?”

“yeah. 4pm slot”

“i’m 3pm. running late today i guess”

we talk for like 10 minutes before my therapist comes out. turns out her name’s M. (not posting full name). she’s 24, works at a coffee shop in la jolla, sees Dr. R for anxiety stuff

got her number. texted that night. went out friday

the date
#

took her to george’s at the cove (ocean view, solid food, not trying too hard)

she’s cool. talks a lot about her barista job and some drama with her roommate. i mostly just listened

asked about my parents. i gave her the short version - car crash new year’s eve, inherited money, trading full time now

she got quiet for a bit. then: “that’s really heavy. are you okay?”

“sometimes. therapy helps”

“yeah. me too”

we went back to my apartment after. she saw my trading setup - 6 monitors, server rack in the corner, cables everywhere

“holy shit. you’re like actually serious about this”

“yeah i’m actually serious”

she stayed over. left saturday morning. been texting since

therapy session today
#

saw Dr. R this afternoon (march 20, my regular monday 6pm slot)

told her about M.

Dr. R: “how do you feel about dating someone you met in my waiting room?”

me: “i mean. it’s fine?”

Dr. R: “do you think you’re ready to be dating right now? your parents died 11 weeks ago”

me: “i don’t know if i’m ready. but she’s hot and i like her so”

Dr. R just looked at me with that therapist look

we spent the rest of the session talking about how i use sex and dating to avoid dealing with grief

probably true. but also M. is really hot and seems cool so i’m gonna keep seeing her

the reality
#

i give it 3 weeks max before i get bored or she realizes i’m fucked up from my parents dying

that’s usually how it goes. meet someone. hook up for 2-4 weeks. lose interest. repeat

Dr. R says i have “avoidant attachment patterns” or whatever

i just think most relationships are boring after the first month

we’ll see. M. seems different but they always seem different at first

also her tits are fucking incredible which helps

back to trading tomorrow
#

took the weekend off from watching positions. gonna check them tuesday morning

sometimes i need to just not think about spreads and greeks and slippage for 48 hours

dating helps with that

-AK