SPX shit the bed friday. took me with it.
week P&L: -$8,142 total since jan: -$59k
what happened #
one of my short put spreads on SPX got assigned early. didn’t have a handler for that in my code. position sat open for 3 hours bleeding before i noticed.
by the time i manually closed: -$5k on that single trade.
the other -$3k was normal strategy losses. still sucks.
the emotional part #
hard not to spiral when you see -$59k in 3.5 months. that’s my parents’ life insurance money. feels like i’m pissing away their legacy.
therapist asks “would they want you to keep trading?” honestly don’t know. dad would probably say figure it out or quit. mom would worry i’m stressed.
both are dead so can’t ask them.
taking a break #
pausing live trading monday. going back to paper for at least a week.
need to:
- fix the assignment bug
- retest ALL my code with new slippage assumptions
- actually follow my own risk rules instead of overriding them
losing $59k hurts but losing $150k would end this experiment.
J is getting annoying #
girlfriend texted me like 40 times friday while i was dealing with this. “why aren’t you responding” “are you mad” “hello??”
told her i was working. she said “it’s 2pm on friday just take a break.”
doesn’t get it. when you’re down $5k you don’t just “take a break” you fix the fucking problem.
probably breaking up with her soon anyway.
5:42am sunday. couldn’t sleep. thinking about whether this whole algo trading thing is viable or if i’m just burning money.
90 days in, down 14.75%. not great.
-AK