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first day full risk - testing my psychology

ramped to 0.5% risk thursday.

first 2 days at full size.

psychology test passed.

wednesday 11/15 - final day 0.25% risk
#

trades: 2 setups, both winners

result: +$680

mindset: calm, prepared for ramp tomorrow

thursday 11/16 - ramp day
#

position size: doubled to 0.5% risk

trades: 3 setups

  1. SPX call spread (mean reversion): +$1,180 (would’ve been $590 at old size)
  2. QQQ put spread (mean reversion): +$840 (would’ve been $420 at old size)
  3. ES momentum: stopped out, -$520 (would’ve been -$260 at old size)

day total: +$1,500

psychology: felt losses harder but didn’t tilt

friday 11/17 - testing discipline
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trades: 4 setups

  1. TLT call spread: +$920
  2. SPX iron condor: +$680
  3. NQ momentum: +$1,240
  4. QQQ butterfly: stopped out, -$640

day total: +$2,200

key moment: loss on trade 4 didn’t trigger revenge trading

account status
#

nov 14: $347,030

nov 17: $350,410

week 3 progress (wed-fri): +$3,380

november total: +$11,330 (+3.34%)

recovery tracking
#

sept peak: $362,120

current: $350,410

still down: -$11,710 (-3.2%)

recovered from bottom: +$15,630 (4.7%)

2 weeks to full recovery at current pace

the psychology shift
#

what i expected:

bigger size = more stress = worse decisions

what actually happened:

bigger size = more focus = better setups

why it works:

at 0.25% risk, losses felt manageable. almost too easy.

at 0.5% risk, every trade matters. can’t be sloppy.

forced better discipline.

loss management test
#

thursday trade 3: -$520 (full size loss)

old me (september): revenge trade immediately, double size, chase it back

current me: stopped trading 10 minutes. walked away. came back calm. took break rest of day.

friday trade 4: -$640 (another full size loss)

reaction: noted it. reviewed setup. wasn’t revenge, was valid setup that failed. moved on.

no tilt.

no revenge.

no emotional spiral.

this is the test that matters.

what’s different now
#

september disaster:

  • loss → panic → bigger size → bigger loss → panic → revenge → disaster
  • emotional cascade couldn’t stop
  • $28k gone in 2 weeks

now:

  • loss → pause → review → move on
  • losses are data, not emotional events
  • circuit breaker exists if needed (haven’t needed it)

stability = controlled response

living together impact
#

thursday night after trading:

me: quiet at dinner

A.: “bad day?”

me: “no, good day. just processing full size risk again.”

A.: “you’re overthinking.”

me: “probably. made $1,500 today. account almost recovered.”

A.: “then why stressed?”

me: “because last time i felt confident, i lost $28k in 2 weeks.”

A.: “you’re not that person anymore. i see how you trade now. it’s different.”

she’s right.

different routine. different mindset. different execution.

filters saved me again
#

blocked 6 potential trades wed-fri.

estimated saves: ~$1,200.

would’ve taken all 6 in september.

would’ve lost on 4 of them.

patience = performance.

strategy performance (full risk)
#

mean reversion (6 trades):

  • 5 wins, 1 loss (83%)
  • net: +$2,680
  • works at full size

momentum (3 trades):

  • 2 wins, 1 loss (67%)
  • net: +$700
  • more selective at full size

week 3 plan
#

sat-sun: no trading, thanksgiving prep week coming

mon 11/19: full trading schedule

tue 11/20: normal day

wed 11/21: normal day

thu 11/22: thanksgiving (market closed)

fri 11/23: early close (1pm ET)

4.5 day trading week next week

risk level decision
#

staying at 0.5% risk through end of month.

criteria met:

  • no emotional tilt ✓
  • losses managed properly ✓
  • win rate maintaining (82% week 3 so far) ✓
  • routine stable ✓

december plan: maintain 0.5% risk as baseline

november projection
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2 weeks done: +$7,950

week 3 (3 days): +$3,380

november total: +$11,330

1.5 weeks left (minus thanksgiving)

projection: +$15-18k month

original target: +$5k

will beat target by 3-4x

reflection
#

doubled position size.

lost $1,160 combined in 2 days.

didn’t tilt.

didn’t revenge trade.

this is the psychology test.

passed.


3:08am saturday. first 2 days full risk. +$3,380. losses managed without tilt. psychology holding. $11.7k from full recovery.

-AK

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