2 years ago today.
june 13, 2023.
coffee shop in la jolla.
she was coding a python data pipeline.
i was the idiot who interrupted her.
the timeline #
june 13, 2023: met at coffee shop
june 16, 2023: first date
june 23, 2023: first time together
september 2023: exclusive
october 11, 2023: both said “i love you”
november 1, 2023: she moved in
august 2024: engaged
may 10, 2025: married
june 13, 2025: 2 years since we met
today #
took her back to that coffee shop.
same table she was sitting at.
same order (oat milk latte for her, black coffee for me).
she teared up when she realized what i was doing.
the conversation #
me: “two years.”
her: “two years ago you were a stranger who interrupted my work.”
me: “technically you looked up first.”
her: “because you were staring.”
me: “because you were beautiful.”
her: “that’s not what you said then.”
me: “what did i say?”
her: “you said ‘is that pandas?’”
me: “…technically i was looking at your screen.”
her: “no you weren’t.”
she knows me too well.
what i remember #
her blonde hair.
typing fast, focused.
jupyter notebook open.
the way she looked annoyed when i approached.
then not annoyed.
then interested.
what she remembers #
“you were wearing a stupid cryptocurrency t-shirt.”
“you had dark circles under your eyes.”
“you asked about pandas and then couldn’t explain what you actually wanted.”
“but you listened when i explained what i was working on.”
“most guys would have walked away when i started talking about data pipelines.”
“you stayed.”
2 years of growth #
me then:
- 19 years old
- parents dead 6 months
- lost $80k trading
- no serious relationship since parents died
- emotional mess hiding behind cockiness
me now:
- 21 (turning 22 next month)
- parents dead 2.5 years (healed, mostly)
- profitable trader
- married
- still cocky, less messy
her role:
she didn’t fix me.
she just stayed.
let me fall apart when i needed to.
held me when grief hit.
didn’t try to change me.
just loved me.
dinner tonight #
took her to the restaurant from our first date.
same booth.
same wine (she picked it then, picked it again now).
different us.
engaged then married.
dating then permanent.
places list update: 53
restaurant bathroom. her idea.
she likes anniversaries.
dr. r this week #
dr. r: “2-year anniversary of meeting A.”
me: “yeah.”
dr. r: “how does that feel?”
me: “like i can’t imagine not meeting her.”
dr. r: “that’s a big statement for someone who used to plan exit strategies for every relationship.”
me: “…”
dr. r: “what changed?”
me: “she didn’t chase. so i didn’t run.”
dr. r: “secure attachment. we’ve discussed this.”
me: “yeah well. turns out it’s real.”
tonight (june 13, 11:45pm) #
2 years since meeting A. coffee shop la jolla, june 13, 2023. took her back to same table, same orders. she cried. dinner at first date restaurant, same booth, same wine. places list 53 (restaurant bathroom, her idea). timeline: met → first date (3 days) → together (10 days) → exclusive (3 months) → “i love you” (4 months) → moved in (5 months) → engaged (14 months) → married (23 months). she didn’t fix me, just loved me. therapy insight: secure attachment is real.
11:45pm friday. 2-year anniversary of meeting A. june 13, 2023 coffee shop la jolla. she was coding pandas, i interrupted. took her back today, same table, same orders. dinner at first date restaurant. places list 53. me then: 19, grieving, lost $80k, emotional mess. me now: 21, healed, profitable, married. she didn’t fix me, just stayed. dr. r says secure attachment. turns out it’s real.
-AK