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five days out - final countdown, serenity weird

5 days.

wedding saturday.

weirdly calm.

monday night (may 5) - final week begins
#

A.: “we’re getting married in 5 days.”

me: “yeah.”

A.: “you’re supposed to be freaking out.”

me: “i’m not though. are you?”

A.: “no. that’s what’s weird.”

therapy session (may 1)
#

dr. r: “last session before wedding. how do you feel?”

me: “calm. which feels wrong.”

dr. r: “why wrong?”

me: “everyone says you’re supposed to be anxious. cold feet. last minute doubts.”

dr. r: “and?”

me: “nothing. i just want to marry her.”

dr. r: “that’s called being ready.”

A. session friday:

she told me dr. r asked the same thing.

A. said: “i’ve never been more sure of anything.”

both calm. both ready.

final week schedule
#

monday (today): picking up wedding bands

tuesday: final dress fitting for A.

wednesday: rehearsal music check

thursday: rehearsal dinner prep

friday: actual rehearsal 5pm

saturday: wedding 4pm

every day planned.

nothing left to chance.

A’s family arriving
#

her parents: arrived sunday

her brothers: arriving thursday

my side: uncle, aunt, 3 cousins arriving friday

total guests: 45

small wedding.

exactly what we wanted.

picking up wedding bands (today)
#

her ring: platinum, simple, matches engagement ring

my ring: tungsten, plain band

both sized perfect.

both crying a little in the store.

not sad. just real.

where we are
#

together: 23 months

living together: 19 months

engaged: 6 months

places list: 47

fights in past month: 0

sex in past week: 11 times

stress levels:

A: 4/10 (down from 10/10 two weeks ago)

me: 3/10 (down from 9/10 two weeks ago)

calm before the ceremony.

tonight (may 5, 1:42am)
#

5 days until wedding.

picked up rings today (cried a little).

A’s parents in town.

both calm, which feels weird but right.

therapy confirmed: being ready = not panicking.

final week schedule locked.

45 guests saturday 4pm.

trading paused, algos offline.

life about to change.

but it already changed when she moved in.

marriage is just the legal part.


1:42am tuesday. 5 days to wedding. picked up rings today (both cried). A’s parents arrived. weirdly calm, dr. r says which is being ready. final week scheduled: dress fitting tuesday, rehearsal friday 5pm, wedding saturday 4pm. 45 guests confirmed. places list 47. together 23 months, living together 19 months, engaged 6 months. stress levels: A 4/10 (was 10/10), me 3/10 (was 9/10). algos offline, capital protected. life about to change but marriage is just the legal part, real change happened when she moved in.

-AK

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