wedding may 10.
6 weeks out.
wedding rings purchased.
stress accelerating.
the rings #
tuesday (mar 11):
A. and i drove to jewelry store la jolla.
spent 2 hours trying rings.
her engagement ring (existing):
platinum solitaire 1.5ct.
cost $6,800 (bought october 2024).
her wedding band (new):
platinum, pave diamonds, fits flush with engagement ring.
cost $2,400.
my wedding band (new):
tungsten carbide, brushed finish, 8mm.
cost $800.
total rings: $10,000 ($6,800 engagement + $3,200 wedding bands)
all locked.
why tungsten not platinum #
A. wanted me to get platinum ($2,800).
me: “i’ll lose it within 6 months. tungsten is $800 and indestructible.”
A.: “it’s our wedding rings. shouldn’t you get something nice?”
me: “tungsten IS nice. also if i scratch it i can replace for $150 instead of $2,800.”
A.: “you’re going to scratch your wedding ring?”
me: “i work with servers, lift weights, fuck you in random places. yes, i’ll scratch it.”
A.: (laughs) “fair point. tungsten it is.”
saved $2,000.
practical > symbolic.
what’s left before may 10 #
completed:
venue ✓ ($4,500)
photographer ✓ ($4,500)
caterer ✓ ($3,800 buffet tacos)
flowers ✓ ($1,700 including upgraded bouquet)
invitations ✓ ($800 calligraphy, mailed jan 20)
rehearsal dinner ✓ ($1,200 menu locked mar 18)
honeymoon ✓ ($3,840 maui flights, $4,200 hotel = $8,040 total)
wedding rings ✓ ($10,000 total)
A’s dress ✓ ($1,200, fitted feb 21)
my suit ✓ ($600)
still need:
finalize ceremony music (spotify playlist building, 80% done).
bachelor party execute (april 18-19, 5 weeks).
bachelorette party (A’s friends, april 11-12, 6 weeks).
final vendor confirmations (week before).
wedding budget:
original: $18,000
actual: $19,050 (A’s mom paid $1,050 overage for calligraphy/flowers).
on budget.
the stress levels #
A. stress: 9/10
final details crunch.
coordinating vendors.
family drama (her mom still texting ideas).
work busy (python dev deadlines).
my stress: 5/10
most stuff locked.
trading losing month (march -$7,410 so far).
bachelor party planning group texts.
relationship stress: 6/10
we fought wednesday about seating chart.
her mom wants assigned seating.
we want casual (find your own spot).
compromise: assigned tables, not assigned seats.
A’s mom won that one.
therapy session (mar 12) #
dr. r: “6 weeks to wedding. how’s stress?”
me: “A’s at 9/10. i’m at 5/10. we’re managing.”
dr. r: “managing how?”
me: “fucking. a lot.”
dr. r: (slight smile) “stress relief.”
me: “places list: 41. added venue parking lot sunday during vendor walk-through (she gave me head in my car, almost got caught by photographer).”
dr. r: “the risk element again.”
me: “huge turn-on. she loves the possibility of getting caught.”
dr. r: “and the trading losses during wedding planning?”
me: “march is brutal. down $7,410 so far. probably finish -$9k to -$10k.”
dr. r: “how does A. feel about that?”
me: “stressed. we’re spending $19k on wedding, i just lost $7k trading. she hasn’t said anything but i can tell.”
dr. r: “have you talked about it?”
me: “briefly. i told her losing months happen, we’re still up $8k ytd. she trusts me but money stress is real.”
dr. r: “communication working.”
me: “yeah. we’re good. sex helps.”
dr. r: (shifts in seat) “it usually does.”
places list update #
march 8-14:
40: her car friday morning before dress fitting (quickie, she bent over back seat).
41: venue parking lot sunday (she gave me head during vendor walk-through, photographer almost caught us).
sex life:
still incredible.
wedding stress = more frequent.
she initiates always.
loves control when planning chaos.
bondage tuesday:
she tied me to bed post-rings shopping.
edged me for an hour.
made me beg to finish.
both came hard.
stress relief confirmed.
trading impact this week #
monday-wednesday:
6 trades, 2 wins, 4 losses.
-$2,120.
thursday (rings shopping):
paused entire day.
cost: 1 missed setup (~$200 opportunity).
friday:
A. and i fought about seating chart.
paused trading afternoon (makeup sex).
cost: 2 missed setups (~$400 opportunity).
total cost: ~$600 opportunity.
worth it:
relationship > forced trades.
wedding rings purchased.
seating chart compromise reached.
comparing to where we were #
january (3.5 months before wedding):
stress level: moderate.
most big stuff still to book.
fighting with A’s mom over every decision.
march (6 weeks before wedding):
stress level: high.
everything booked except final details.
compromise fatigue setting in.
final push coming.
bachelor/bachelorette parties next 3 weeks.
then final vendor confirmations.
then wedding.
bachelor party final details #
april 18-19 (5 weeks out):
8 guys confirmed.
gaslamp bar crawl friday night.
topgolf saturday afternoon.
brewery tour saturday evening.
cost: $400/person
A’s rules: no strippers, no vegas, midnight curfew saturday.
everyone agreed.
group text active daily planning logistics.
tonight (march 14, 2:09am) #
wedding rings purchased.
her band: $2,400 platinum pave.
my band: $800 tungsten (practical > symbolic, saved $2,000).
total rings $10,000 (including $6,800 engagement oct 2024).
wedding may 10 (6 weeks out).
stress: A. 9/10, me 5/10.
places list: 41 (venue parking sunday, she gave head during walk-through).
therapy: discussed trading losses ($7,410 march), money stress real but managed.
bachelor party april 18-19 (5 weeks), bachelorette april 11-12 (6 weeks).
2:09am saturday. wedding rings complete. her band $2,400 platinum pave, my band $800 tungsten (saved $2,000 vs platinum, practical choice). total rings $10,000. wedding may 10 (6 weeks). stress: A. 9/10 (vendor coordination, family drama), me 5/10 (most stuff locked). fought wednesday seating chart (compromise: assigned tables not seats). therapy mar 12: dr. r asked about stress relief (places list 41 venue parking head, risk element). march trading -$7,410, A. stressed about money but trusts me. bachelor party april 18-19 logistics active. relationship managing stress through communication and sex.
-AK