been avoiding it for 4 months. finally went through dad’s home office.
what i found #
his trading books (all outdated, pre-2000s stuff about fundamentals)
framed photo of me at 8 years old
business cards from his biotech VP job
notes about stock options from his company (never exercised, company went under)
random shit.
the hard part #
his computer was still logged in. last thing he googled: “best restaurants la jolla new years eve 2022”
they were planning dinner for NYE. never made it. car crash killed them both around 9pm on their way to the restaurant.
i was home coding a trading algorithm. didn’t even know they left.
kept some stuff #
took his engineering textbooks. probably won’t read them but feels wrong to throw out.
found $2,400 cash in his desk drawer. no idea why he had that much cash sitting around. adding it to my trading account i guess. down $59k so every bit helps.
his watch. nice omega speedmaster. worth like $8k. not selling it.
threw out most of it #
donation boxes: clothes, books, random office supplies, old tech
trash: papers, receipts, broken electronics
sold: his desk ($400), office chair ($150), monitors ($200)
mom’s stuff is next #
can’t deal with her closet yet. too much. all her real estate marketing materials, her awards, photos of properties she sold.
maybe next month. or next year. whatever.
back to trading #
paused live trading this week anyway (down $59k, needed a break). good timing to deal with this stuff.
therapist proud of me for “making progress on grief work.” sure. feels more like i just cleaned a room.
J texted asking to hang out. told her i’m busy. she’s getting clingy. probably done with her soon.
4:09am. office is empty now. weird seeing it cleared out.
dad would probably think my algo trading is dumb. mom would worry i’m stressed. both dead so their opinions don’t matter anymore.
back to fixing my backtests.
-AK