Personal

had a session with dr r friday that hit different. we’ve been circling around something for weeks and she finally called it out. the anger i didn’t know i had # she asked me when the last time i was truly angry was. not frustrated, not annoyed, not the “this fucking code won’t work” kind of angry. real anger.

a has been on this kick where she wants me to learn to cook. not like ramen-and-eggs level (i can manage that without supervision). she means actual cooking. from recipes. with ingredients that expire.

saturday afternoon. A. out with friends. me alone thinking. the thought experiment # question: what if A. and i break up?

9 months living with A. november 1 to august 10. routine completely locked. daily pattern (weekdays) # 10am: wake up together.

woke up at 11am. hands tied to headboard. A. between my legs going down on me. best fucking birthday ever. how it started # didn’t know she tied me up.

july 4 coming up. turn 22. different from last year. last year (july 4, 2023) # turned 21.

living with A. 7 months now. routine completely locked. works perfectly. the daily schedule # 10:00am: wake up

mall during the day is dead. ghost town. A. made it into a game. the discovery (2 weeks ago) # saturday afternoon.

met A. june 13, 2023. today may 9, 2024. 11 months together. 6 months living together (nov 1). therapy session revealed something. therapy thursday (5/9) # dr. r: “almost a year with A. how’s it feel?”

moved in november 1. today april 23. 5.5 months living together. works. what therapy revealed (tuesday 4/23) # dr. r: “almost 6 months living together. how’s it going?”