worst week in 2 months.
down $2,340.
can’t focus.
week 4 trades #
9/25 monday: -$485 (momentum false breakout, stopped too wide)
9/26 tuesday: -$620 (mean reversion fought trend, emotional trade)
9/27 wednesday: -$580 (crypto BTC, didn’t follow plan)
9/28 thursday: -$655 (revenge trading, 3 losses same day)
week 4 total: -$2,340
fuck.
september final #
week 1: +$1,480
week 2: +$1,340
week 3: +$850
week 4: -$2,340
september total: +$1,330
missed $5k goal. only hit 26.6%.
account damage #
sept 21: $362,120
sept 28: $359,780
drawdown: -$2,340 (-0.65%)
gave back all of week 3 plus more.
what went wrong #
violated every rule.
-
traded revenge after first loss
-
increased position size (should’ve decreased)
-
forced trades that weren’t there
-
ignored filters (took 5 trades filters blocked)
-
didn’t follow stop losses (let losses run)
this is emotional trading.
the real reason #
had fight with A. on sunday (9/24).
she hasn’t stayed over since.
4 days without seeing her.
can’t sleep. can’t focus. can’t trade.
details: don’t want to get into it. personal shit.
both said things we shouldn’t have.
she said she needs space.
i fucked up.
momentum strategy damaged #
september final:
- trades: 15
- wins: 13
- losses: 2
- win rate: 87%
- net: +$3,180
still profitable but last 2 trades = losses.
letting emotions override system.
mean reversion worse #
september final:
- trades: 18
- wins: 12
- losses: 6
- win rate: 67%
- net: -$510
went from 82% win rate (week 2) to 67% (month end).
6 losses in 2 weeks.
all emotional trades.
crypto saved september #
september final:
- trades: 14
- wins: 11
- losses: 3
- win rate: 79%
- net: +$1,660
only reason september positive.
crypto position sizing small enough emotions didn’t destroy it.
lessons learned (the hard way) #
1. don’t trade emotional
obvious but needed reminder.
4 days missing A. = $2,340 lesson.
2. cut position size when tilted
should’ve gone to 0.25% risk or stopped trading.
kept at 0.5% = amplified losses.
3. take a break
forcing trades when not in right headspace = guaranteed losses.
should’ve stopped after monday loss.
4. relationships affect trading
thought i could separate them.
wrong.
when personal life chaos = trading suffers.
what i’m doing #
1. taking 3 days off trading (9/28-9/30)
need to clear head.
paper trade only.
2. reducing position size
when back: 0.25% risk (half normal).
until emotional stability returns.
3. therapy friday
need to process fight with A.
figure out what the fuck i’m doing.
4. reach out to A.
can’t let this drag on.
need to talk. apologize. fix this.
october targets #
financial: recover september losses (+$2,500 minimum)
emotional: fix shit with A. or accept it’s over
trading: don’t trade tilted, stick to systems
reflection #
september started strong. ended weak.
+$1,330 total but should’ve been +$5k+.
gave back $3,670 in emotional trades.
A. and i are fucked up right now.
trading is fucked up because of it.
need to fix one to fix the other.
4:15am tuesday. worst week in 2 months. -$2,340. all emotional trading. A. and i had fight. she hasn’t stayed over since sunday. can’t focus. taking 3 days off.
-AK