3 days since A. moved in (nov 1).
adjusting.
learning.
working.
wednesday nov 1 - move-in day #
morning: furniture delivery, unpacking boxes.
afternoon: organizing her stuff with mine.
evening: exhausted. ordered pizza. fell asleep on couch together.
first night officially living together: weird and not weird simultaneously.
thursday nov 2 - first normal day #
my routine:
- 4:00am: wake up, trade prep
- 6:30am: market open, trading
- 10:00am: market close, breakfast
- 11:00am-5:00pm: coding, strategy work
- 6:00pm: gym
- 8:00pm: dinner
- 11:00pm: bed
her routine:
- 7:00am: wake up (i’m already trading)
- 8:00am: coffee, breakfast, get ready
- 9:00am-5:00pm: work (remote, her desk)
- 6:00pm: done working
- 7:00pm: cooking dinner
- 10:00pm: bed (i stay up coding)
overlap: breakfast (10am), dinner (7pm), bed (10-11pm).
works.
friday nov 3 - first friction #
morning: she used my coffee mug.
my mug. specific one. always use it.
me: “that’s my mug.”
A.: “we live together. it’s our mug now.”
me: internally annoyed. externally: “right. our mug.”
told dr. r about this later.
dr. r: “and?”
me: “annoyed me. but didn’t say anything mean. just adjusted.”
dr. r: “that’s growth. old you would’ve withdrawn.”
me: “old me would’ve used it as evidence she’s invading my space.”
dr. r: “new you?”
me: “bought another mug thursday night. now we each have one.”
A.: “you’re ridiculous.”
me: “yes. but less ridiculous than before.”
what’s working #
separate workspaces.
her desk in corner. my desk across room.
both code in silence.
no interference.
shared meals.
breakfast at 10am (after market close).
dinner at 7pm (she cooks, i clean).
routine established fast.
bathroom schedule.
she showers at night (45 minutes wtf).
i shower in morning (10 minutes).
no conflict.
bedroom.
her side. my side.
her lamp. my lamp.
her books. my books.
defined spaces work.
what’s challenging #
her mess.
leaves clothes on floor.
dishes in sink.
towels everywhere.
me: OCD-level organization.
her: creative chaos.
compromise: she cleans her mess by end of day. i don’t comment during day.
my trading stress.
when trades go bad, i’m quiet.
she notices.
A. (thursday after losing trade): “you okay?”
me: “fine. just lost a trade.”
A.: “want to talk about it?”
me: “no. just need to process.”
A.: “okay.” [leaves me alone 30 minutes, comes back with coffee]
she gets it.
her quirks i’m learning #
talks to herself while coding. constant muttering. “no that’s wrong. wait. fuck. yes. no.”
needs silence in morning until coffee. don’t talk to her before 7:30am. just coffee.
perfectionist about code. rewrites same function 5 times. takes forever. but output is flawless.
cooks while listening to music. loud music. off-key singing. happy in kitchen.
needs alone time friday evenings. works on personal projects. i give her space.
my quirks she’s learning #
wake up 4am for trading. she’s adjusted. sleeps through my alarm.
obsessive organization. everything has place. don’t move my shit.
need gym alone. won’t invite her. need that hour solo.
therapy 2x/week non-negotiable. tuesdays and fridays. she schedules around it.
cry about parents randomly. happened friday night. she held me. didn’t ask questions.
friday night - the crying #
watching tv.
commercial had dad and son.
hit me.
started crying.
A.: noticed immediately. “come here.”
held me.
didn’t ask why. didn’t try to fix it. just held me.
after 10 minutes:
me: “parents would’ve liked you.”
A.: “yeah?”
me: “dad would’ve talked your ear off about coding. mom would’ve taught you her recipes.”
A.: “i would’ve liked that.”
me: “they died almost a year ago. dec 31. sometimes just hits.”
A.: “i know. it’s okay.”
this is why it works.
she doesn’t need me to explain. just be there.
therapy yesterday (friday 11/3) #
dr. r: “3 days living together. how’s it going?”
me: “good. few adjustments but working.”
dr. r: “any moments of wanting to run?”
me: “coffee mug thing annoyed me. but didn’t run. bought second mug.”
dr. r: [laughs] “that’s very you. but healthy response.”
me: “also cried about parents friday night. she held me.”
dr. r: “and?”
me: “and nothing. she just held me. didn’t make it weird.”
dr. r: “vulnerability without running. that’s the work.”
what i’m learning #
living together ≠ being together 24/7.
we’re in same apartment.
different spaces most of day.
overlap for meals and evening.
works perfectly.
small annoyances ≠ dealbreakers.
coffee mug. dishes. towels.
annoying but not relationship-ending.
communicate. adjust. move on.
her presence = stability.
trading better.
sleeping better.
eating regular meals.
routine solid.
september panic was wrong.
thought living together = losing freedom.
reality: gaining stability.
tonight (saturday) #
she’s cooking dinner.
music loud. singing off-key.
i’m writing this at my desk.
her desk in corner covered in notes.
apartment alive with her presence.
not scary.
comfortable.
2:22pm saturday. 3 days living together. adjusting well. few annoyances but managing. she held me when i cried about parents. this is working.
-AK