valentine’s day.
first one engaged.
made it all about A.
the plan #
her day, not mine:
full spa package.
couples massage.
lunch her favorite restaurant.
no trading today.
paused completely.
morning (feb 14, 9am) #
woke her up:
breakfast in bed (i cooked - rare AF).
scrambled eggs, bacon, toast.
coffee exactly how she likes it.
her reaction:
“you cooked?”
“it’s your day. you deserve it.”
she cried a little.
made me feel… something.
spa appointment (11am-3pm) #
location: la jolla spa resort
package: couples massage + facials + hot tub
cost: $850
worth it? 100%.
the massage (2pm):
private couples room.
90 minutes deep tissue.
at the end:
therapist left us alone for 10 minutes “to relax.”
we didn’t relax.
A. initiated (she always does).
massage table, oil everywhere, both came hard.
places list: 35.
risky AF but worth it.
lunch (4pm) #
restaurant: george’s at the cove (ocean view)
her choice: surf and turf
wine: she picked expensive bottle ($180)
conversation:
talked about wedding (89 days out).
rehearsal dinner venue decided (booked monday).
honeymoon flights booked (maui, 7 days).
she held my hand entire meal.
“best valentine’s ever.”
evening (7pm) #
home:
she wanted to cook dinner for me (reciprocate).
i let her (normally i’d say no, too picky).
she made: steak, asparagus, mashed potatoes
i ate everything.
her: “you ate asparagus. without complaining.”
me: “it’s your day. you earned it.”
she rewarded me after dinner.
bondage (she tied me up again).
edge play (held me on edge 20 minutes).
both came incredibly hard.
sex with A. = still best ever.
what today meant #
usually:
valentine’s = commercial bullshit.
don’t care about hallmark holidays.
this year:
engaged to A.
wedding 89 days out.
first valentine’s where i wanted to make it special.
not for me, for her.
therapy reflection (will discuss feb 18) #
what dr. r will ask:
“how was valentine’s?”
what i’ll say:
“made it all about A. spa day, her favorite restaurant, let her cook for me.”
what dr. r will notice:
first time i put someone else’s preferences above mine completely.
ate food i hate because it made her happy.
paused trading for full day (never done that).
growth.
comparing to past valentine’s #
2023 (parents died 6 weeks prior):
alone.
didn’t acknowledge the day.
numb.
2024 (dating A., not engaged yet):
took her to dinner.
sex after.
didn’t feel significant.
2025 (engaged, wedding 89 days):
full spa day.
let her cook for me.
ate food i hate without complaining.
transformation.
what A. said tonight #
after sex, lying together:
her: “today was perfect. thank you.”
me: “you deserve it. every day.”
her: “i love you.”
me: “i love you too.”
first time saying it without thinking.
just automatic.
this is real.
cost breakdown #
spa package: $850
lunch: $380 (food + wine + tip)
her flowers delivered morning: $120
total: $1,350
worth it?
every fucking dollar.
she’s marrying me in 89 days.
least i can do.
trading impact #
paused: full day february 14
cost: ~$400-500 opportunity (2-3 potential setups)
worth it: absolutely
relationship > forced trades.
priorities aligned.
places list update #
35: spa couples massage room (after therapist left)
running total: 35 places
favorite so far: still apartment balcony (neighbors definitely heard)
riskiest: spa massage room today (therapist could’ve walked back in)
sex life: incredible, kinky, open communication, zero shame
tonight (february 14, 11:47pm) #
valentine’s day done.
first one engaged.
made it all about A.
spa day, her restaurant, let her cook for me.
ate food i hate without complaining.
paused trading full day.
places list: 35 (massage room).
she said “perfect day.”
wedding 89 days.
i love her.
11:47pm friday. valentine’s day first engaged. made it all about A. - spa package $850, couples massage (places list #35 when left alone), lunch george’s at the cove $380, let her cook dinner for me (ate asparagus without complaining). paused trading full day. cost $1,350 + $400 opportunity. worth every dollar. she said “perfect day.” bondage + edge play after. sex life still incredible. wedding 89 days out. priorities: A. > trading. transformation from 2023 (alone, numb) to 2025 (engaged, all about her). growth.
-AK