11 months living with A.
november 1 is anniversary.
marriage thought no longer hypothetical.
what changed this month #
therapy (10/9):
dr. r: “11 months approaching. thoughts?”
me: “good. really good. been thinking about proposal seriously.”
dr. r: “seriously meaning?”
me: “like… when, not if. probably before year mark.”
dr. r: “that’s significant shift from weekly thought to actual planning.”
me: “yeah. feels right. A. is it.”
dr. r: “you seem certain.”
me: “most certain i’ve been about anything besides trading edge.”
signals from A. #
last weekend:
talking about future apartment (bigger space).
mentioned kids timeline casually (28-30 ideal age for her).
referred to “our future” not “my future.”
she’s thinking same timeline.
what’s still locked #
daily routine:
perfect.
zero friction mornings.
separate workspaces essential.
dinner together 7pm locked.
sex life:
incredible.
places list: 26 now.
last addition: friend’s wedding bathroom (risky AF).
communication about fantasies/limits completely open.
she initiates 95% of time, picks places.
relationship foundation:
she saw me broken (sept 2023).
stayed through trading disaster.
doesn’t tie us to performance.
week 2 october -$2,220? didn’t affect us.
secure attachment (dr. r’s words).
what’s different from before #
before A.:
exit strategy always active.
thinking weeks, max months.
multiple girls rotating.
now:
thinking years.
planning proposal.
first relationship where leaving never crosses mind.
family situation #
her family:
parents love me (explicitly told her).
dad and i talk servers/tech.
mom thinks i’m good for A.
brothers still give me shit (normal).
my side:
parents dead.
A. held me through anniversary grief (dec 31).
she gets it.
the proposal plan (rough) #
when: before november 1 (11 month mark)
how: simple, private, us
not public spectacle.
probably apartment.
ring: researching now
she mentioned once: simple, no giant rock, platinum band.
aftermath: tell her family first, therapy session after
why now feels right #
1. time tested
11 months living together.
seen each other stressed, sad, happy, horny, broken.
2. aligned futures
both want: apartment upgrade, maybe kids 28-30, keep working.
she codes, i trade, we’re independent but together.
3. relationship doesn’t depend on external
trading up or down? doesn’t matter to us.
her projects succeed or fail? doesn’t matter.
we’re solid regardless.
4. no exit thought
year ago: planning exits with every girl.
now: planning permanent.
5. dr. r validation
she rarely gives explicit approval.
but her face when i said “proposal seriously” = approval.
what A. doesn’t know yet #
she knows:
i’m thinking long-term.
marriage crossed my mind.
she doesn’t know:
i’m planning actual proposal.
timeline is weeks not months.
ring research in progress.
keeping it surprise.
tonight (oct 12, 1:52am) #
11 months in 20 days.
proposal planning active.
timeline: before november 1.
A. is it.
most certain i’ve been about anything.
1:52am saturday. 11 months with A. approaching. marriage thought shifted from weekly consideration to actual proposal planning. timeline before november 1. therapy validated decision. she saw me broken sept 2023 and stayed. relationship stable regardless of trading performance. first time thinking permanent not exit. ring research active.
-AK