10 months living with A.
november 1 was move-in day.
thought she’d last 3 months max.
what’s locked #
daily routine:
wake up: 9:30am (both)
coffee: her first (i wait 10 min)
breakfast together: 10am
work separate spaces: 10:30am-6pm
dinner together: 7pm
evening: separate (she reads, i review trades)
bed: midnight
works perfectly.
sex life:
still incredible.
best either of us has had.
places list: 24 now.
last weekend: hotel rooftop pool after hours.
almost got caught by security.
communication:
we talk about everything.
fantasies, limits, wants, needs.
zero shame.
total trust.
bondage, dom/sub switching, toys, public play.
she initiates 90% of the time.
loves picking risky places.
what’s still friction #
her mess vs my OCD:
she leaves coffee mugs everywhere.
i need surfaces clear.
ongoing negotiation.
sometimes she compromises.
sometimes i let it go.
friday alone time:
she needs it.
i respect it.
but sometimes i miss her.
stupid but real.
different work styles:
she codes with music blasting.
i need silence for trading focus.
separate rooms essential.
therapy insight (9/11) #
dr. r: “10 months. thoughts?”
me: “good. really good. marriage thought keeps coming back.”
dr. r: “how often?”
me: “weekly now. used to be monthly.”
dr. r: “what triggers it?”
me: “random shit. her cooking breakfast. watching her code. sex obviously. just… routine feels permanent.”
dr. r: “you planning to propose?”
me: “not yet. but the thought doesn’t scare me anymore.”
dr. r: “that’s significant growth. year ago you were planning exit strategies with every girl.”
exactly.
year ago: thinking weeks.
now: thinking years.
comparing to previous relationships #
before A:
longest relationship: 6 months.
average: 2-3 months.
player mode: multiple girls rotating.
exit strategy always active.
with A:
10 months and counting.
exclusive since september 2023.
living together since november 2023.
no exit strategy.
first time ever.
why it works #
she doesn’t chase.
so i don’t run.
she understands trading stress.
doesn’t tie our relationship to my performance.
august slow month? didn’t care.
september picking up? happy for me but not dependent.
she saw me broken (september 2023 disaster, 18 days of hell).
stayed anyway.
we’re both independent.
comfortable with silence.
don’t need constant attention.
sex is fucking incredible.
open communication about everything.
kinky as hell.
places list keeps it exciting.
family integration #
her parents:
told A. they like me (christmas 2023).
dad and i talk tech/servers.
mom thinks i’m good for A.
her brothers:
give me shit constantly.
normal family dynamics.
i can handle it.
my side:
parents dead.
no family integration needed.
she held me through grief.
the marriage thought #
not planning proposal yet.
but the thought is persistent.
weekly now.
used to scare me.
now feels… right?
NGL still weird thinking long-term.
year ago was planning exit with every girl.
now thinking marriage with A.
growth or stupidity?
dr. r says growth.
what A. thinks #
haven’t asked directly.
but signals:
talks about “our apartment” not “your apartment.”
plans 6+ months out naturally.
mentioned kids once (casual, no pressure).
she’s thinking long-term too.
tonight (sep 14, 1:47am) #
10 months done.
routine locked.
sex incredible.
marriage thought weekly now.
not proposing yet but persistent.
first relationship where exit strategy inactive.
growth.
1:47am saturday. 10 months with A. routine perfect. sex life incredible (places list: 24). marriage thought occurring weekly vs monthly. dr. r says significant growth. year ago planned exits, now thinking years. no proposal yet but thought persistent. relationship stable.
-AK