J. texted me monday night.
haven’t talked to her in 2 months (broke up mid-may).
the text #
her: “hey. been thinking about you. miss what we had. can we talk?”
me: [left on read for 3 hours]
her: “i know you’re seeing someone but i think we were good together”
me: “J. we weren’t good together. you were clingy AF and we both know it”
her: “i’ve changed. been working on myself”
me: “good for you. i’m with someone now and it’s actually healthy. not interested”
her: “she won’t understand you like i do”
me: [blocked]
why i blocked her #
1. timing is suspicious
how does she know i’m seeing someone?
either stalking my social media or asking mutual friends.
creepy either way.
2. “i’ve changed” = bullshit
2 months isn’t enough time to fix clinginess issues.
3. trying to insert herself into my new relationship
“she won’t understand you like i do” = manipulation.
4. zero respect for boundaries
i ended it. she should respect that.
comparison: J. vs A. #
J. (broke up with in may):
- texted 50 times per day
- wanted to define relationship after 2 weeks
- cried when i didn’t respond fast enough
- got jealous about other girls
- tried to control my schedule
A. (dating now, 6 weeks in):
- texts once or twice per day
- has own life (work, friends, hobbies)
- zero jealousy or drama
- respects my trading schedule
- confident and independent
night and day difference.
told A. about it #
her: “your ex texted?”
me: “yeah. asked to get back together. i blocked her”
her: “good. want to talk about it?”
me: “not really. she was clingy and dramatic. nothing like you”
her: “thanks for telling me though”
that’s it. no drama. no insecurity. just trust.
why blocking was right move #
option 1: respond and explain
- gives her hope
- opens conversation
- wastes my time
option 2: ignore completely
- she’ll keep trying
- might escalate
option 3: block immediately
- clear boundary
- no ambiguity
- moves on
chose option 3.
therapy tomorrow #
seeing Dr. R wednesday 2pm.
will mention J. texting and me blocking her.
Dr. R will probably say something about healthy boundaries.
she’d be right.
reflection on J. #
dated her march-may (2 months total).
broke up because:
- too clingy
- too dramatic
- wanted more than i could give
- relationship felt suffocating
she wasn’t a bad person. just wrong for me.
A. is right for me.
difference is massive.
what i learned #
from J.:
- clinginess = red flag
- someone wanting to control your schedule = red flag
- jealousy = red flag
- crying when you don’t text back immediately = red flag
from A.:
- independence = green flag
- having own life = green flag
- trust without jealousy = green flag
- respecting boundaries = green flag
trading update #
monday 7/17:
- SPX put spread: +$385 (using -150% stops again)
tuesday 7/18:
- TLT call spread: +$295
july total: +$2,681
goal: +$3,500. need: +$819 in 1.5 weeks.
definitely hitting goal this month.
mental state #
solid. clear boundaries with ex.
healthy relationship with A.
profitable trading month.
therapy helping process shit.
life is good right now.
2:37am wednesday. J. texted asking to get back together. blocked her immediately. A. is 10x better. not looking back.
-AK