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lost $15k today - fucking desperate for her back

lost $15k today.

single worst trading day since march.

can’t do this without her.

what happened
#

woke up: checked phone. no response from A. to the letter.

9:30am: tried to trade. SPX put spread. -$2,840 (emotional entry, no setup)

10:15am: revenge trade QQQ. -$3,150 (chased loss)

11:30am: forced NQ momentum. -$2,680 (no volume confirmation, ignored filters)

1:00pm: crypto BTC. -$3,220 (panic sold bottom)

2:30pm: more revenge trading. -$3,110 (don’t even remember the trade)

total: -$15,000

account damage
#

oct 7: $359,780

oct 9: $344,780

drawdown: -$15,000 (-4.2%)

worst single day loss this year.

why i traded
#

shouldn’t have.

knew i was emotional.

knew i should stay paper trading.

but couldn’t help it.

needed to feel control over something.

trading is only thing i can control.

relationship = can’t control. A. won’t respond.

parents = couldn’t control. they died.

but trading = my system, my rules.

except when i’m emotional, i control nothing.

every trade today
#

ALL violations.

  1. no proper setups (forced entries)
  2. oversized positions (2x normal size)
  3. ignored stop losses (let losses run)
  4. revenge traded (chased every loss)
  5. no filters applied (blocked nothing)

textbook emotional trading.

textbook destruction.

the pattern
#

after parents died (jan-mar 2023): lost $180k emotional trading

after A. left (sept 24-oct 9): lost $28k emotional trading ($3,165 + $25k this week)

pattern: loss in personal life = loss in trading

can’t separate them.

when life broken = trading broken.

16 days without her
#

haven’t seen A. since sept 24.

16 days.

longest we’ve been apart since meeting (june 13).

mailed letter oct 6.

she should have it by now (oct 7 or 8).

no response.

starting to accept she’s not coming back.

at breaking point
#

can’t sleep. lost 12 pounds. can’t eat.

apartment empty without her.

trading destroyed without her.

life meaningless without her.

never felt this desperate.

M., K., S., J. - didn’t care when they left.

A. - can’t function without her.

what therapy warned me about
#

dr. r (6 weeks ago): “your avoidance guarantees the abandonment you fear.”

did exactly that.

pushed A. away when she tried to get closer.

now she’s gone.

and i’m drowning.

tomorrow
#

taking tomorrow off trading.

can’t afford another $15k day.

account can’t take it.

i can’t take it.

just going to sit here.

check phone every 5 minutes.

hope she responds.

knowing she probably won’t.

desperate thoughts
#

thinking about:

  • showing up at her place again (but she didn’t open door last time)
  • texting her (but dr. r said letter is final message)
  • calling her (but she hasn’t answered in 16 days)
  • giving up (but can’t do that either)

stuck in limbo.

can’t move forward without knowing.

can’t let go without trying everything.

the truth
#

i need her.

not “want her.”

need her.

to sleep. to eat. to focus. to trade. to function.

first person since parents died who made me feel safe.

and i destroyed it.

if she reads this
#

A., if you’re reading this:

i’m sorry.

i fucked up.

i’m not okay without you.

$15k gone today because i can’t focus.

$28k gone since you left.

trading collapsed.

i collapsed.

please respond to the letter.

please come back.

i need you.


11:47pm monday. worst trading day of the year. -$15k. all emotional. 16 days without A. desperate for her to respond. can’t do this anymore.

-AK

Related

therapy session - processing losing A and the trading collapse
therapy session tuesday and thursday this week. processing losing A. processing trading collapse. tuesday session (10/3) # dr. r: “you went to her place. she didn’t answer.”
worst trading week since august - down $2,340
worst week in 2 months. down $2,340. can’t focus. week 4 trades # 9/25 monday: -$485 (momentum false breakout, stopped too wide)
first loser of august - streak ended at 11
perfect streak ended. 11 straight winners in august. hit my first loser monday. monday 8/14 trade # SPX put spread
A. watched me trade - she gets it now
A. came over monday morning. sat on couch behind my desk for 2 hours. watched me trade. how it went # 9:00am: she showed up with coffee for both of us.
mailed the letter - waiting for response i might not get
mailed letter to A. yesterday (10/6). now i wait. what i wrote # 3 pages. handwritten. hardest thing i’ve written.
went to A's place - she didn't answer the door
went to her place saturday (9/30). she didn’t answer the door. what happened # drove to her apartment. 2pm.